Random and i like it!

I took it from someone in Facebook..so it is not original but i like a lot!

lots of love....XOXO

Fireflies. tears and everything else

10 million fireflies,
I am weird ; cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they say farewell..

If you can read all these three  and and get what I mean, thats good...But my situation is not in such way but the other way around, I am not suppose to be lonely a wet blanket, snobbish, a jerk or to be moody all the time ...I AM NOT...I don't want to!!!!

Looks like I just hav to bear with it..but I don't want to...
Please say something here..I hav nowhere to go..

I am really getting misty eyes as I am writing this entry..I wish I can stop...I really want to...
HELP ME..:(.....
My friends obviously don't think I am a level with them but I just want to be LOVED....I am not asking too much,
I may not be the friend that you may think cool or awesome...
I am just an ordinary average joe.....

You may not like me at first but I wish I will hav someone to think that I would make a best of the bestest friend ever :')

Will you like me, if I smile at you?
Will you like me if I say Hello?

Will you come out for a coffee with me?
Will you hang out with me some other time if we meet?

I just want one friend who think I am the best friend ever!

I just want to be loved as a good friend...

True friendship last forever and I want a everlasting friendship...

I just want a clean and honest and reliable friendship which will make me happy till the end of my passing days in the earth...

Dato Seri Guruji 'The Anantham 2011'

Is was massive!

A very beautiful fine Sunday that was spent to show the most abundant amount of gratitude to our one and only DATO' SERI GURUJI and DATIN SERI SUNTARI for 2011 ANNATANAM in Batu Caves. It was so lovely as I saw so many people, it was a huge crowd that can't be described..The whole event went very well as all the sittars hav planned from the entrance to the place where all the disciples collect the food. All their hard work has paid of when Dato Seri Guruji came in a beautifully decorated umbrella, followed by the security and some barathanatiam dancers. He was also accompanied by Lion dancers who was actually Indians!
He entered the stage and there we hav our one and only YOGA YNANA SITTAR OM SRI RAJA YOGA GURU, Our Divine Grace...He gave us a speech and all our hearts are cooled down although we are placed in the tent, we still could feel hot as we are all crowded, It was a sense of happiness when he talked, he was not able to sleep as oll his disiples vibration of happiness made him eager to see us as soon as daytime comes :)

I immediately came to me, when his name was announced a short vibe came to be, i didn't know what it means but I have a strong feeling that it was from HDG!

I am so happy to be part of the ANNATHANAM,
I wish I will be able to give my best effort to stay close to guruji and to hav faith in him forever

YOGA YNANA SITTAR OM SRI RAJA YOGA GURU SHARANAM!

A new sage

A sage according to Oxford English dictionary referrs to profound wisdom , which is offen used in video games usually from what my memory remembers, but before that let me voice out my apology to my dear blog readers in and out...I was looking out for something intresting to come up with, that is all abt the delay...I am sorry!

Back to where I sarted, SAGE -  is the title of my blog today...Why I name it so?

Back to where it all begins, life in college didn't turn up so well, as some of my blog post would prove it....It was because I was not wiseand my ability to think like a matured person has mask the aftermath of what could happen. There is where all the problem were formed.
According to thermodynamic law, enery can't be created nor destroyed...It applies to ur life as well, problems are there you can't be an ass to modify or to destroy it..It is test from the Supreme, but now I have found my sage...sage towards serenity and calmity of finding peace....

I am still ordinary and still a girl who still hang out with friends...but I will much better, much happier, much of all the pleasanity in life that i didn't get before...


THANKS YOU, THANKS A MILLION HDG!!!

:)(:

Peple regard me as a serious person...This is my guessing.
I feel good about this
Why??

1) I hav less friend by doing so( no friends at all)
2) No one cares about me by doing so
3) I feel free to do anything but it is empty cuz I don't hav a buddy to share with
4) I don't laugh when people make fun of me...I get all serious
5) I feel I can breath well but no company to breath together with

Sums up as : I am a serious lonely weirdo girl in UCSI who wanders without a path

YOU ARE NO LONGER NEEDED....

Although thousand miles may make the heart go fonder, it reduces as time goes by...
The frequency we used to hav has no longer existed, but it makes my hope grow deeper,
I shall see you one day, with a curve of happiness on ur face

We may be distance apart, I still feel numb
I wish , I spend my time well with you,
Regrets are no longer acceptable
mistakes are done is not reversible

I wish to find a substitute for you,
I gav failed,
I  guess there is only one like you

As for now, I am a loner,
Walking on pavement with a dime of street lamp
I wish to walk as much as my feet can take me

I wish to say, you are awesome just the way you are...


___________________________________COMPLICATED_________________________________

Copycat, copyPig....Thats u!!

Hey Miss...Can you stop copying what I hav and what I do....GET OVER WITH IT AND GET A LIFE...I wish I can use B***CH to acknowledge u,but I a wont cuz...I am not you...I am me..I hav my OWN IDENTITY....

So called friend...You are just nothing to me...So far hav you treat me nicely? NEVER....You are just a pain in the ass!!!


Finally, i just want to say that You are a COPYPIG!!!!!

___________________COMPLICATED__________________________

A reason to..

People change...

I nvr blog for a long time...this blog of mine is getting dustier!

It is 11.54pm( the nite is still young)

I want to read about organic chem....

I hate facebook cuz it makes me sad to read other people status!

My mom wants me to come back Jb b Diwali but I hav mid term on  Monday....I miss her<3

Lets Pray..

Lets pray that everything will be fine..Lets pray that I will hav a happy ending once I finish my college life. I love my family. I want to love myself. I like you my god. I just wish I can be happy like the rest.

Let the god bless me and those I love very much...I love everyone.

Bear this...just hang in there!

Yeah....can anyone just lend their shoulders for me to cry on...pleaseee....
I really need it for these coming months...Just wished, everything will be normal. I wish I was normal.
When I though keeping it to myself would heal, it wasn't till I realise if I never change, there will be no one to change me. I decided to be my own...it is hard at first but eventually I was getting used to it...

Let just hope that...any of these days...my life will be as bright as sunshine and all my sorrow will fly away...I know it sounds too impossible but hope is healing....it is a medicine for a thorn and broken heart!

Watch this....

It was very touching as I almost cried....I wish I will be able to open my heart for him, I need you right now..Derek Redmond

Emonezzz....is still ruling me!

 I am suppose to have a great time in UCSI University rite??
Then...what is my problem???!!!

I see all my friends are happy and they are so bubbly and jovial...why not me??
I seem to be so emo and...I just feel so empty, why is that so??
I thought I won't be like this again after my high school...I though I can start all over again, but this is not what I wanted....I wanted to be happy but instead...is all the other way around!!!

Y is it so....I wonder if i will ever get friends if i continue to be like this...


p.s: I just feel that I am just not cool enough among my friends!

I am...

If life has to be fair like scales....I will be better ahead than everyone...
I wish I was bright...
My life would be colourful...
I wish I was happy all times...
If only...I had a better life...
Life is simple yet it is much more messier than before...
I laugh out loud...
I cried in much...
Tears are abundant in me...
They say...it is not nice for someone to cry...
Tears makes me prettier than smile..
I wish I never say sorry to early...
I am like this...I hate myself sometimes
I can't turn back time...
I want it to be perfect...but it is my fate to go through it...
I feel like i am the most imperfect girl...
why is that so??

They say i am inferior...it is not good
I feel good about being inferior...
People push me, hit me hard..
I cry but I find pleasure in the tears...
It is normal for me...

I am not a wild child
I don't party hard..
I don't even know how to confront people nicely..
 Am I to be blame?
I shall say...I do!



UCSI.......I thank you...I don't know why...
But ever since I come here...I found a perfect spot to shed my tears....I can't be more thankful than this..
I wish everything will fall onto place very soon...

Cherio and hav a good day!

Falling Dowm

I am faling down,
Try and stop me,
Feels so good to hit the ground
You can watch me

Fall right on my face
It's an uphill human race
And I, I am falling down...

Today is 19 of May 2010..
I will be somewhere in KL
on 1st of July 2010...

I have loads to do..
Packing my stuffs,
I feel odd...
I felt emty for myself...
I am lifeless, clueless...

How would it be...
I will be free...
Will it be my advantage?
I wish it will not be...

Leaving behind loved one..
It is hard...

I have to make it..
I must try..
I have to love it

It should go fine...show me some of ur LOVE and the finest magic POWDER...

Alumini of Amanah. 5 AROMA

These are the people who inspired me to be a better person and now....they are in my heart. I wish someday we will be together but not for the last time.....memories should no fade and so does love...
miss you all but I will never forget...Gud luck and hope I will see you all one day...

HETIC...

TO ALL THE READERS OUT THERE.....



I am please to inform that SCHOOL is gonna reopen on MONDAY. 5th JANUARY 2009!!!! I
wish everyone out there all the best and keep rokin on cuz life is too short cuz high school and U surely will be surprised how much time u have wasted worrying about how well you gonna be among the others in your school!!! I am kindly telling all the students out there to enjoy ur life as much as possible becuz it can never be the same like college life or UNI life!!!

Things u do or say might sound normal when ur in high school but if will be a different story out there!!! There, you will see a bunch of communities to stereotype YOU even if u try to be ur best in whatever things u do!!! However think about the positive side.....and you will meet new FRIENDS from all walks of life and you will be surprised by how small ur knowledge about the outside world and you will start to think more sensibly...

However, one thing that will never change where ever u go!!!.....WHAT IS THAT???
It is nothing big.....HOMEWORK.....of course, hahaha...well u can clearly see that in high school u call it the " H WORD" but in campus it is known as assignments and project work which sound more complicating!!! Y is tat so? Well, in campus assignments are given more importance than in high school....every assignments counts!!! As for homework.....it is merely a practice of a certain subjects given by the teacher so that one can be good at it!
So did everyone gey the idea of being in school? Well, this seems to be very short for me cuz there is so many things going around in high school because high school is all about YOU!!! I really can go branching out life this about school life such as Love life, Financial problems, Stress management, EXAMS, school parties, competitions, Sports Day, and there is just so many thing going around in school...so instead of worrying for the unnecessary things...TRY TO MAKE EVERY SINGLE MINUTE PRECIOUS!!!......YOU WORTH IT !!!( Loreal Paris)

So cherios Boys and Gurls........choice is in your hands.....
LEAD YOUR LIFE LIKE NOBODY!!!


sounds familiar....yes...just to refresh those memories of fear and jitters I had be4 my Form 5......wow.....It is over now and I am relieved...

nervousness creeps

I am really scared right now....I have no idea what to do anymore. I really need somebody to talk with me. my instinct tell me that I will will be sitting for Form 6 but I don' know whether I will be able to go t my dream college: UCSI UNIVERSITY...I would love to hear from someone. I really need the answer soon. If only I never faint the other day, I would have been filling up the form and maybe I will not get the jilters right now. OH MY GOD...please say something ...show me some hint of whatso ever it is.....I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO FORM 6....i don't want to go....I will not be able to concentrate and  I bet I will not study like I use to to.....say something please...I am so helpless now. Staying in my grandparents house is like hell and what is worst...everyday is the same and I need answers so badly and I want to know it urgently....


I hope I will be able to get out of this house, please someone help me to get out of the place. It is  ugly, hot and BORING!!!

I need some place where real people would stay.I am just tired of these place. Eighteen years in this den and I need to go out. I want to venture the world out there and it is not a real big deal to ask, it is not like I am asking for a jackpot. I see  my friends are having a great time , I am missing all the stuff and it is not fair at all....I don't get it, whatever things I wished for is not at my reach and every time I wish for some of my dreams to come true.....something comes up and that's it....it is crushed into millions of pieces....I can't take this anymore and I will not able to do anything...That is the more dissapointing than anything else

Sometimes things happening around you can never get any worst. Yes, this is so true. My driving instructor is a real JERK!!....I have beg him like million times to finish my lesson as soon as possible...alas! He purposely drag till jun....I HATE THAT LOSER!!!

He didn't only make my blood to boil but he has irritated me to the maximum and what-so ever it is....I really wish I can slaughter him and rip his flesh like a cannibal....

And I don't want this post to be commented.....

Is it this what I have been looking for???

                      Yes, I received a phone call from my aunt in Putrajaya about my further study in A level in UCSI University. I speak to her for a while and she told me the fees and accommodation  to spend my another 1 year in a place called Kuala Lumpur. To be honest, I don't like to leave my home sweet home. It is the most priceless thing I knew ever since i knew how to talk. It is very sad and  I am afraid those people in there will not be the one that I knew over here. They are busy, it is a metropolitan state with a lot of hustle and bustle which is so crazy and insane. Sorry, it is no offense for those who are working in  Johor. We are busy too, i never deny that and we are busier than ever. It was a strong felling of depression I had a while when I looked around my house, I knew everything in my house and if u asked me to walk with my eyes closed, YES i would be able to do that!! 

I dare u!

She asked me if I was able to come for the Open day to expand my rusty brain which getting rustier by every passing days...I said yes and she told me, she we  make arrangement for my transport and she will call me later. That is it. I was happy but sad. Happy because i knew what I will be doing and I will not have to be clueless anymore. Sad because I am going to leave my family behind. I love my grandparents, mother and my aunt even when they could be annoying at times but then I realized if I left them there will be no one to accompany my grandparents when my mom and aunt goes to work. It will be lonely and the house will be stranded in silence of to human being who loves watching tamil serial....crazy and hate it till today!

It would be a dear to leave the 32inch Sony LCD which was I of my good friends. It will be over once we brake apart cause I will not be able to watch my favorite Disney, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Hitz.tv and blah2

I guess life have to mo on and we still have to break free of our freedom zone once and for all...I guess it is the time for me to say goodbye to the things I have cherished for a very long time!

That's all for now...signing of from your......COMPLICATED

I am not able to handle...

Now all ends up whether I am going for A- levels or STPM. It is really though beccause I have been thinking all tese while that college would be fun as you are able to dress up and hav a fun time together with your friends, eat in fast food court and chill our with your friends but then I realise my weakness...I am really not good at socializing and I am very sure I will not be able to make it. Lectures, Students affair and curriculum activities which is far more cooler than my high school.

I am not be able to cope with new environment but something surprises me till now. I able to make loads of friends after my primary school but why not now? Things change...I change and I was still acting like a kid not knowing the world is so big and we are merely just actor on the stage... we don't last long in the play, somehow in the end we will be left forgotten and to be rotten in the soil at the end of the day.

Will be able to leave my high school even though it reminds me of homework and will I be able to leave my grandparents here who constantly nags at me? Will I be able to cope when all my close friend drift apart from me? I am weak mentaly and physically...All those moments of happy times together...will be able to see each other again? Shall we still be in a group and talk whatever that cross our mind and never bother whether it makes sense or not?


Will u still REMEMBER ME?


Will I ever SEE U AGAIN?


Will u IGNORE ME?


When can I SEE you AGAIN?



when am i capable of standing TALL one day?

it is what i had in mind...

I knew it long time ago, I will not get but I insisted to check although I knew it is tough and hardly for someone like me to get...

But finally , it came out just the way I thought it would be. I knew it.


Its over....I lose