dissapointed

It was never my wish to post all the worst and desperating and sad stories in my blog compared to other blogs...

this is my life....hurdles all the way which does not have any end, even if i was to have one...

My life has never been easy and it will never be anymore cuz i lose in faith, the faith that also told me to just move on no matter what happen, i still have tiny bits of hope still hanging which i believe, it will come in handy whenever i need....trust me, I am not the most popular girl or the smarted like the rest in my class, but i am just an ordinary and a very simple girl who will cherish all the moments i have gone through in my life. I realize there is no much time for me. For me to always be happy but I am trying my best....i am still hanging......

Firstly, it is myself that has brought me to this state...Suddenlly when i looked back, i was not like this....NEVER!!! Somethings have changed me, yes it is true.....THEY have changed me, I was a very cheerful girl and i used to get excited for everything but now......i am bored and not interested at all...WHY???

I DON'T KNOW......somebody help me with this

I could not do it myself, i need somebody so that I will have a mentor to carry out my life like the rest of the others...

Eversince that moment that hurts my feeling like a wound that can never be mended no matter what, I hav turned into a whole lot of new person, I simply don't reconise myself anymore...

Will this be forever????

TIME WILL TELL....IT WILL HEAL THE PAIN

This is the time...

This are the dayz that i have been waiting for eagerly and longing for, it was like the best of the all the pleasure i had in my life. I gotta say, I have passed through all the hurdles and pain that I have been digesting for months...

It was nothing much but it wasn't easy either!!!

It was 8 Dec when I really felt much and really relieved after all the works that I hav done for months, at first it was tough but then I was used to it...homeworks, friends who doesnt talk to me, my ego attitude that stop myself from talking to them.It is over now, yes it is over for now that I don't hav to think about it anymore, they ask me whether I miss my friends of not?

At first I felt awkward to answer this question, but I realise I did not miss them at all, I was not surprised..I don't know why...Times when I was lonely, times when I cried myself listening to Arvil Lavigne's 'Keep Holding On'. It was not funny or people might just say that I am sensitive but I know I could not help it...I had to let go anyway

 It was helpless back then when I had to share everything to myself instead of others, it has been a rough journey but I guess, it will be rougher than it alreay is...

                                                      AM I READY FOR THIS???

I guess not, well i am not prepared yet...

Alumini's of SMK SETA 09 (Class of 2005-2009), thank you for all and everything you ahve done. Even when I say i don't miss you....i did not mean it literally. I will still remember you all from time to time, cherishing all the pain and happy moment I had with you friends...You all have been great to me.Thank you everyone.I will MISS U ALL 4EVER

Sheer of...

What it is like to feel the sheer of everything sweet, nice and spice in life???

Most of out lives are preoccupied with jobs and other serious matters in life that most of us have neglected the joy of being a 5 years old toddler...

I have felt so much of frustration over the months as conflict arouse and I couldn't not possible let go of myself from the situation....i knew I had to face it all by myself...

Where was I??? Sheer....ahh yes....It is a blissful thing in life, a degree of everything from bad to evil and now I hav a strong sheer of nervous and happiness...y??

25 OCT- It's Sejambak Kasih for all the future alumni of SMK SETA of class 2005-2009, it is hard but life has to be continued...

For some reason.....I hope I will get good grades for my SPM...

-Vikey-

...

It has been months since my compu is in proses of fixing and i am very sad for it...

I couldn't hold it anymore... sometimes i juz wish i had my laptop wit me...IT IS ALL I NEED!!!

Well, SPM is juz around da corner n it is not a joke...gotta struggle and I juz wanna get A'S . Isn't is very obvious???



It sure does for all of em...it is not only me but thousands of candidates out thr...

I wish them luck even if I don't noe some of u...



MY SKOOL LIFE:

it is horrifying as u can see many are smartry smart that i will be competing wit, they look so smart 4 me eversince last year, i couldn't understand how they can cum up so good after all these years...



My friends???

yup....had some arguments and i don't think i will belong to their niche anymore....they r getting up high to reach the sky....but I am still struggling(sigh...)



MY LOVE LIFE:

Don't get too excited....i am still single yet

I don't stand a chance yet cuz I don't hav gud chemistry yet...

Maybe I should go for gender attraction phychology...

It is not really important nw but I am kinda lonely(sigh...)





I feel that I will not be able to survive out thr if it is not for my friends and teachers to guide me all the way long cuz this path is very long and I could only choose one which will reflect ma future...



Hopefully my future will still be bright and i am hoping it to be gud...

AFTER SO LONG....

It has been a very long time that i touched the keyboard...(sigh). Maybe it is beacause, may aptop is currently 'under construction'....It is so desperating for me to live without my laptop...I am havin a great trouble to connect wit people i want to!!! I t is like a hell...now i realise why there are some people out there is willing to pay for any sum to get the latest tech so that they will be in touch all the time!!!

My, wat a horrible days ahead! firstly it was MJ'S death, then it was H1N1 and now it is my SPM is just around the corner...IT IS LIKE THE TIME IS FLYING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT( 3.0 X 103)!!! It has been a real tragedy for me all the while, I had some friendship problem, had a crush wit my tuition teacher and it is still going on..., wat else my studies which as no direction, I don't know which course I am going to apply to...
Life is like a bunch of entangled thread which has no direction...

While all the stuffs running through ma head, i really hav another problem to encounter before my Judgement Day which will decide my future beyond...It is nothing small but ma SPM TRIAL 2009!!!

How could anybody tolerate this when you ave so many things going around u???
My life is a big question mark? I am seeing all my friends were studying so hard and it got my nerves down, so I started to study too but I could not see how on earth I can possibly say that I am already gud enough...It is true or not??

My seniors gav me a piece of advice which I've been following but not consistently...They say I can do it but I am still cnfused about it.....


I hope my future will be bright and I will excel with flying colours

nvr had tis much of LOVE...

I noe this is hard to say but I just can't get enuf of him..
He is not very handsome but he is gud looking...he is smart and have a gud job, gud personalities and I didn't know what to do now...I think i am having "crush" wit him. He none other than my own tuition teacher....do not wish to mention his name here...but I really like him. He seems to attract me in all ways, he is becoming more cuter every single day and I don't really know whether he is married or not..(sigh)....I never felt this much of love for somebody, well....i should because I nvr dated any guys be4....(sigh)...Well, i noe my feelings towards him is not right.....there is an age gap between us and it is so impossible....
But I wish he will remain in my heart till the day I feel apart...I really miss him and I think I will never find a guy so nice and intelligent like him...

I wish I was born earlier than 1992...(sigh)...but this is fate and i realise that I should face it no matter what happens...I am seeing him every single day and I really wish I can let out my feelings to him and I do hope he will not feel awkward about my feelings towards him....I noe this is so insane....liking a guy that is years older than u???
hey!!!.....love is blind and pure love don't seems to recognise old or young, rich or poor, ugly or handsome....it just flows from the apex of the heart.....it is so Divine and true.....even 24 carat gold would lose to it...


But 4 nw.....I should only concentrate in ONE THING....MY SPM. I need a scholarship for whatever course I am going to take...(i haven't decide yet...)

cherio....everybody...gud nite
miss him....sweet dreamz

5 Practical Ways to Help a Friend Who's Grieving The Death of Someone Close

5 Practical Ways to Help a Friend Who's Grieving The Death of Someone Close
During a time of loss, there are many ways you can be of help to a grieving friend. Here are five practical ideas for offering support and assistance in your friend's time of need.
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/79529/5_practical_ways_to_help_a_friend_whos.html

20 MARCH 2009

Life has never been fair to us...it is true life the old saying...
Don't take everything for granted...

This very day itself many incident has occured in my lyfe....the gud n the bad

It is my friend, sharves's birthday and i took a little effort to wish her at 12 am in da mornig....i felt so happy for her but it never last very long until....

I went to tuition at 5.30pm today and Anu came by....I was literally shocked because i never thought she would come to the same tuition that I go....I am happy but not till.....she gave me a shocking news about Yashini mom's death...

I was very sad...i kept thinking about it and i could not concentrate on my tuition....this is my first time going trough this kind of situation...

I really pity her...i know how it would feel when u lost somebody u love so much...cuz I've lost my father when I was small and I never had the father love since I was small...

2moro I will be visiting her and all my friends will be there and I will not know wat to tell her....I am nervous to tell her what I am suppose to tell her

I wish I was the mom...I just can't take it when the people who I know is suffering...this is very hard or me to take it....

But I believe the god will surely will have a stong reason for her mother's death...probably he loves her more that her own little girl and husband...

I wish u all the best Yash.....I will alwiz be on your side no matter what happens...

Yash we all love you....MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY
LET HER SOUL REST IN PEACE....

OM SHANTI, SHANTI, SHANTI...

it is hard!!!!

It has been weeks and months....( i suppose....)
i am having a great distance between them...it is hard!!!
But I lyke it....it weakens me but most of the time...i am STRONG!!!
I know I am making a mistake or maybe I am not....
even though everyone has forget that 'Valentine's day' incident.....
I still haven't and it is not easy for me to just swallow tat bitter incident that has just happened to me....
Now I realise something ..... I gotta live my lyfe
I am worrying too much but I can't help it....
My friends.....sometimes I just wish I was not among u
I wish I was not ur friend...but the truth is I am still ur friend...
I am not making up a story or putting a big drama...telling the whole world that u guys were not my friends...but
after that incident......i feel lyke the relationship between u and me is never will be life the old times....


trust me.......

V-KEY

life...is hard!!!

2.14.09.....11.40am

I realise something today. No matter how close a fiend can get to you...they are still a total stranger no matter what happens... I was very upset on this day because I was punished for the mistakes I did and it makes me to wake up and look at the world that life is not always like the fairytale stories...

It was a small argument for me but it has upset her so much that she thinks I need some behaviour changes, and till then she will refuse to talk to me. On this day

( it is Valentine's Day ) u noe??? And here I am getting this punishment. I feel like a criminal who has been just accused of murdering somebody. Well, it is my own fault because I thought friends were my closest relatives I had. Now I know that...blood is thicker that water. From today onwards , I will never trust my friends no matter how close they get to me...

They only know me by physically ( who likes to craps and act inmatured and obviously don't make them laugh...from my point of view!!! ) but little do they realise that I also have a little heart deep inside my soul who is deeply hurt every single day and still struggling to get out of all this mess I have done throughout my life and by the way they have made assumption about me...

I realise that nobody is perfect and I am nobody! I just want to tell everyone out there that, Life is short and you gotta take in the good stuff and throw away the bad things!!!

This 'special' day had taught me a very valuable lesson. Never let yourself to be committed whit somebody you love because once you have started to have a strong desire on them...it is very hard to let go!!!

Lastly......i just want to say: I am sorry for everything that I have done!!!

THAIPUSAM....

Today was meant to be a good day where everyone was happy carrying the 'kavadi's' and the 'paal kudam' but not for me....it has been very disastrous as I didn't get to go to temple and the worst pray was.....I WAS LONELY!!!

Nobody cared to ask me whether I am alive or not..... I am very disappointed!!!

But I really wish I didn't cry that much....phew!!! my eyes are sore and I can feel the stinging sensation around my eyes!!! It much of the pain that the people around ma has caused. But I need to ask this question again....Am I the one to be blamed?

I hope everything will turn out to be the day I always dreamt of.....ha

GOOD NIGHT FOLKS!!!

1.15pm

I knew this would happen....I was pretty sure about it!

We almost fight or should I say argue about everything. I never knew it would be today because it was something I never expected to hear from her! I thought she was cool about it. However I was wrong again... It was my mistake. I shouldn't have disturbed her for no reason....no wonder she was mad at me! I am the one to be blamed...





I felt very bad and very disappointed when she scolded me...I was so sad that I almost cried but I kept it to myself. I knew I should not cry because this is a simple misunderstanding.....but I can't help it.....I am very sorry Kalai!!!



I was so sad...I could not help it but to wait until ma history lesson was over....I lied to Renugaa telling that I need to washroom but instead I cried in the toilet...Then I realise I don't want to say sorry to her but I knew that was my mistake , so I have to take the blame from her...





From today onwards I promise to behave myself and not to act like a baby...Forgive me for everything that I have done...





However I am feeling very shy and humiliated to go and ask her sorry because she is in the same class with me and sitting behind me....but I have to take up the courage and ask ma forgiveness from her...





oh......my lord I hope she will forgive me for everything wrong that I have done!

I didn't meant to hurt her feelings.....

,,,,,(^-^),,,,,

I never been a pet lover in ma lyfe but he who I like to call "MR GRAFFY" is the little cutest thing I have ever see in ma entire lyfe...well not really but isn't he adorable....

Now I am being a real girl...haiyzzzz

dunno how to describe the real cuteness in him....I wish I would say he is mine but unfortunately he is not cuz he is ma sister's!!!!

But that will never stop me from being fond to him even though I really didn't wanna touch him!!!!

BUT NOT ANYMORE.......

HECTIC....

Phew!!!!!

What a day!!! I never thought Form 5 would be this hectic .....well a little i suppose but this has gone overboard!!! I could never believe myself that I was given homework on the first day of skool!!! this is so horrible becuz I thought of letting myself loosen up for the first day....

I AM REALLY WRONG AGAIN!!! But doesn't matter becuz I believe this is my last year in high school and I have to really enjoy whatever is happenin to me...this is my last chance to live my life as a high school student and after this....I am gonna face my greatest opponent:

THE WORLD

It is gonna be a though time for me in this year for sure as I can see is very visibly through my eyes and I hope I will never give up especially when it comes to the time when I don't get really satisfying marks as I have expected and I gotta believe that I am not gonna change unless I make up my mind about that...

But at the same time this is my only hope to get wacky and funky wit my friends becuz few months later, we are really going to take different paths of life and our 'school time' will never be the same again with everyone getting busy pursuing their studies and getting a job or taking driving license... this is a very tough time to go through becuz it has been four years we have been together like siblings and now it is really the time for us to be apart...

Even though I realise there is a very long way to go before saying goodbye but I really believe in the proverb ' Time flies'... It is a fact of life that everyone should accept in life even though it is hard to digest em!!!

Back to school is not fun at all!!!

I had too man things to handle right now...so sad!!!

Especially when you don't do your homework...the chores becomes double the work and from this everyone should learn something ( not only me!)

'LEARN TO DO THINGS EARLIER THAN IT SHOULD BE DONE'

Well that is all for now...adios!!!

SCHOOLS OUT!!!!

TO ALL THE READERS OUT THERE.....



I am please to inform that SCHOOL is gonna reopen on MONDAY. 5th JANUARY 2009!!!! I
wish everyone out there all the best and keep rokin on cuz life is too short cuz high schand U surely will be surprised how much time u have wasted worrying about how well you gonna be among the others in your school!!! I am kindly telling all the students out there to enjoy ur life as much as possible becuz it can never be the same like college life or UNI life!!!

Things u do or say might sound normal when ur in high school but if will be a different story out there!!! There, you will see a bunch of communities to stereotype YOU even if u try to be ur best in whatever things u do!!! However think about the positive side.....and you will meet new FRIENDS from all walks of life and you will be surprised by how small ur knowledge about the outside world and you will start to think more sensibly...

However, one thing that will never change where ever u go!!!.....WHAT IS THAT???
It is nothing big.....HOMEWORK.....of course, hahaha...well u can clearly see that in high school u call it the " H WORD" but in campus it is known as assignments and project work which sound more complicating!!! Y is tat so? Well, in campus assignments are given more importance than in high school....every assignments counts!!! As for homework.....it is merely a practice of a certain subjects given by the teacher so that one can be good at it!
So did everyone gey the idea of being in school? Well, this seems to be very short for me cuz there is so many things going around in high school because high school is all about YOU!!! I really can go branching out life this about school life such as Love life, Financial problems, Stess management, EXAMS, school parties, competitions, Sports Day, and there is just so many thing going around in school...so instead of worring for the unnessary things...TRY TO MAKE EVERY SINGLE MINUTE PRECIOUS!!!......YOU WORTH IT !!!( Loreal Paris)

So cherios Boys and Gurls........choice is in your hands.....

LEAD YOUR LIFE LIKE NOBODY!!!

Thankxx Dear :)

Hye!

That's a surprising e-mail I got.. One minute this blog belongs to a stranger, another..
I can write in it! ;)

V.key, r u aware wat u'd done?..
Please contact me ASAP!

Watever, it is..
HAPPY NEW YEAR, folkx..
dun waste the new year n live your life 2 da max..

Also check my main blog at..

http://www.divvraj.blogspot.com

Adios.. -divv-

PHEW.....What a YEAR!!!!

I never thought time fries this fast! It was so fast like an: AIRBUS!!!

WELCOME 2009, ADIOS 2008!!!

It has been a wonderful year for me and I will never forget u...2008 and I hope I can do even better in THIS NEW YEAR!!! This year will never be the same because I will be sitting for my:

SPM!!!

This would sound so silly for some who has gone through the

PERIOD OF DISASTER!!!

The reason is simple:

"I AM NOT A BRAINY" Nevertheless I am a "lazy pig"

and I hate to do my homework and I

am not surprised if I haven't finished

my homework yet!!!

But I hope this new year would do

some great difference for me and

hopefully I would change!!!