:)(:

Peple regard me as a serious person...This is my guessing.
I feel good about this
Why??

1) I hav less friend by doing so( no friends at all)
2) No one cares about me by doing so
3) I feel free to do anything but it is empty cuz I don't hav a buddy to share with
4) I don't laugh when people make fun of me...I get all serious
5) I feel I can breath well but no company to breath together with

Sums up as : I am a serious lonely weirdo girl in UCSI who wanders without a path

YOU ARE NO LONGER NEEDED....

Although thousand miles may make the heart go fonder, it reduces as time goes by...
The frequency we used to hav has no longer existed, but it makes my hope grow deeper,
I shall see you one day, with a curve of happiness on ur face

We may be distance apart, I still feel numb
I wish , I spend my time well with you,
Regrets are no longer acceptable
mistakes are done is not reversible

I wish to find a substitute for you,
I gav failed,
I  guess there is only one like you

As for now, I am a loner,
Walking on pavement with a dime of street lamp
I wish to walk as much as my feet can take me

I wish to say, you are awesome just the way you are...


___________________________________COMPLICATED_________________________________

Lets Start!

Hey, Hey HEY!!!

I am in a jolly good mood today...You know y??

1) XM ARE OVER!!!!!

My drink..gary lim restaurant:)

Wolverineeeee:)

No better work to do ;)

Well, obviously..we did a hangout in MidV...was awesome!!!
Watched Harry Potter and the Deadly Hollow!!! ( Total FANTABULOUS!!!)

Had a scoop of ice cream of Baskin Robbins!!

We just went around the town today(not literally) XP...

It was a candy sumtin flavor..it was before it happen to go inside the bin :D

Life is AWESOME!!!

LOVE MY LIFE<3<3

haha..be4 leaving midV

while waiting for the the lift inside hostel..

 

 

                                          

Copycat, copyPig....Thats u!!

Hey Miss...Can you stop copying what I hav and what I do....GET OVER WITH IT AND GET A LIFE...I wish I can use B***CH to acknowledge u,but I a wont cuz...I am not you...I am me..I hav my OWN IDENTITY....

So called friend...You are just nothing to me...So far hav you treat me nicely? NEVER....You are just a pain in the ass!!!


Finally, i just want to say that You are a COPYPIG!!!!!

___________________COMPLICATED__________________________

It's me!

23/10/10...After my Malaysian Studies xm....ate roti canai telor in Gading with teh tarik...
                                                 Salon...wash blow dry..fringe!!

1ST Attempt!

lol..(^^)

boohooo!!

gangsta!..lol...p.s: I dun even look sexy!

blur...dunno wat to pose!

felt like a loser....

huh...trying to look nice....didn't turn out so well thought!

drug addict!

This is getting...

AWESOME!!!


I am a third party living under the shodows of the people who they call themselves as friends!
I am a invisible shield trying to walk away from being overshadowed by bunch of people who call themselves as friends

I am not perfect in many ways..but I am aliving homo sapien...try not to react like you don't like me...I can see you don't literally!


Anyway...this is not new in the arena...old skwl..Iam used to it...cheers ya mate...


If there is a friend who can cheer meup ...and that would be YOU:


                             (___________COMPLICATED_____________)


Loves and hugs..XOXO

A reason to..

People change...

I nvr blog for a long time...this blog of mine is getting dustier!

It is 11.54pm( the nite is still young)

I want to read about organic chem....

I hate facebook cuz it makes me sad to read other people status!

My mom wants me to come back Jb b Diwali but I hav mid term on  Monday....I miss her<3

Everything end...

I am not a troublemaker..but trouble comes to me in all kinds of matter...
I am not a saddist...but whatever is beyond my control makes me hurt
I love if I was a having a good time for just a week o so....without having to worry abt anything, I would be smilling now...

I just can't write more...tears just accumulating under my eyelids....I can't see the scree that clear..

Thank you for spending some time to read this short entry!

p.s: I will be having bio test next week...for now, I nvr say I like chemistry but I am trying my level best not to forget what I have read...it is so troublesome to refer the book...

(______complicated______)

Lets Pray..

Lets pray that everything will be fine..Lets pray that I will hav a happy ending once I finish my college life. I love my family. I want to love myself. I like you my god. I just wish I can be happy like the rest.

Let the god bless me and those I love very much...I love everyone.

Bear this...just hang in there!

Yeah....can anyone just lend their shoulders for me to cry on...pleaseee....
I really need it for these coming months...Just wished, everything will be normal. I wish I was normal.
When I though keeping it to myself would heal, it wasn't till I realise if I never change, there will be no one to change me. I decided to be my own...it is hard at first but eventually I was getting used to it...

Let just hope that...any of these days...my life will be as bright as sunshine and all my sorrow will fly away...I know it sounds too impossible but hope is healing....it is a medicine for a thorn and broken heart!

Watch this....

It was very touching as I almost cried....I wish I will be able to open my heart for him, I need you right now..Derek Redmond

Emonezzz....is still ruling me!

 I am suppose to have a great time in UCSI University rite??
Then...what is my problem???!!!

I see all my friends are happy and they are so bubbly and jovial...why not me??
I seem to be so emo and...I just feel so empty, why is that so??
I thought I won't be like this again after my high school...I though I can start all over again, but this is not what I wanted....I wanted to be happy but instead...is all the other way around!!!

Y is it so....I wonder if i will ever get friends if i continue to be like this...


p.s: I just feel that I am just not cool enough among my friends!

I am...

If life has to be fair like scales....I will be better ahead than everyone...
I wish I was bright...
My life would be colourful...
I wish I was happy all times...
If only...I had a better life...
Life is simple yet it is much more messier than before...
I laugh out loud...
I cried in much...
Tears are abundant in me...
They say...it is not nice for someone to cry...
Tears makes me prettier than smile..
I wish I never say sorry to early...
I am like this...I hate myself sometimes
I can't turn back time...
I want it to be perfect...but it is my fate to go through it...
I feel like i am the most imperfect girl...
why is that so??

They say i am inferior...it is not good
I feel good about being inferior...
People push me, hit me hard..
I cry but I find pleasure in the tears...
It is normal for me...

I am not a wild child
I don't party hard..
I don't even know how to confront people nicely..
 Am I to be blame?
I shall say...I do!



UCSI.......I thank you...I don't know why...
But ever since I come here...I found a perfect spot to shed my tears....I can't be more thankful than this..
I wish everything will fall onto place very soon...

Cherio and hav a good day!

leaving.Seperation

DEVAN RAJ: aka my favourite brother. He is awesome and he is the best, one of a kind of man.
He will be leaving Aussie to continue his studies and I am gonna miss him so much.

I know you will be happy cuz you will be able to see ur friends but I am gonna miss u so much as you were there for me when I was in trouble and you cheered me up someway and I am so glad I was there and to be related to you as a sister. If there is a rebirth fo me, I wish I were your real small sister. I really do hope so.
I wish you all the best and good luck for your future undertakings.
Cherio and au revor..

I will be waiting and so does everyone at home. We love you always and you will be in our heart all the time.

Kuno Becker

He is gud looking....I was madly was in love after watching Goal 2...

Here are some of his best to prove it:

 

I wish I was his girlfriend!

Oh, isn't that cute??

wat can I say...He is so hot!

This was when he got a red card....:(

awwwww.....<3<3<3

Just can't get enough of him!!!

His girlfriend in Goal 2!!!

Sweethearts!

Kuno Becker...in case u forgotten the name after seeing all this aawesome pictures of him!

I am still waiting for Mr. Right, I hope he will be like him...Am I asking to much form this??

I know, I DO!!!

Beggars can't be choosers

What does that means??

It is like I am feeling the guilt of being born...
If I was not born...it would not be so hard right now..


It is okay
I know, I am not in your league...
I was trying to fit in...
It is not possible now..
Thank you for telling me
Or else..I would have not known for a long time

I realise my mistake
Blood may be thicker than water,
but real story behind the blood is a wound that can't be healed...

happy.happy.happy!!!

Describe it in a word?



Phenomenal!!!

I went to UCSI...It was almost like a dream come true. Although it was not so official but I was glad!
I just went there to register and to hav a gr8 tome, however though I am quite scared cuz thr is so many new faces and I am afraid I can't blend in. I am quit shy. I just don't noe how to overcome them. Orientation will be big and full of people. Which means THE CROWD!!

I hate "The Crowd"..WHY??

I just can't tolerate so many people and I am afraid people will stare at me..haha, although I am not so pretty. It was just a feeling of fear that I will not be as good as others..

I just want to go with the flow. Let everything be fine and no more complications!

UNIVERSITY.UNI.U...

As I was wondering what to blog about, Suddenly!!!( INSPIRATION CUMS IN A ZAP)!!
I thought about letting everyone know the ranking of the world top universities in the world. Well, it is not possible for me to go because it is abroad and cost a lot of money.It is just an interesting fact for everyone to know although some of you are advance than me, as you should have saved it in ur "pen drive".
Here goes the list!


1) Harvard University
2) Cambridge University
3) Yale University
4) University College London( UCL)
5) Imperial College London
6) University of Oxford
7) University of Chicago
8) Princeton University
9) Massachusetts Institute of Technology
10)California Institute of Technology





30) National University of Singapore(NUS)

















Hahaha.....

here goes the bEST OF ALL!!!


180) University of Malaya...(Gud luck in maintaining the so called 1 Malaysia RePuTaTiOn!!!)


However though, it is not a medium to insult or criticism! I am a Malaysia, which means I deserve to say something about Universities in Malaysia..cuz I hav the rights....it is not like we gonna let an Englishman to say it rite???!!!

Falling Dowm

I am faling down,
Try and stop me,
Feels so good to hit the ground
You can watch me

Fall right on my face
It's an uphill human race
And I, I am falling down...

Today is 19 of May 2010..
I will be somewhere in KL
on 1st of July 2010...

I have loads to do..
Packing my stuffs,
I feel odd...
I felt emty for myself...
I am lifeless, clueless...

How would it be...
I will be free...
Will it be my advantage?
I wish it will not be...

Leaving behind loved one..
It is hard...

I have to make it..
I must try..
I have to love it

It should go fine...show me some of ur LOVE and the finest magic POWDER...

Alumini of Amanah. 5 AROMA

These are the people who inspired me to be a better person and now....they are in my heart. I wish someday we will be together but not for the last time.....memories should no fade and so does love...
miss you all but I will never forget...Gud luck and hope I will see you all one day...

It is GOD's Grace...

Yesterday, I got an offer letter from INSTEDT(Institut Sains Dan Teknologi Darul Takzim) to do my diploma in Nursing.I was happy at first but faded once I went through the pamphlet and the fees structure...It was not for me, that what my heart says.I felt something bad and so I just dumped it on my coffeee table.
It was today, around 12, I got and offer letter from Masterskill. The best part was that it came in PosLaju and the deadline for me to summit the application form would be 12May, to be precise it was yesterday!!!

Lol...that is what I can do. If there is one thing I had to do with these people, I will for sure shoot them alive on the middle of the roadway!! Sonds morbid? That is my *point*!

                                                            
Anyway, I knew it long time ago that God has something for me up his sleeves, but He is GOD....it will not be so easy to read HIS mind eh?? Yau thou should know that right?? Haha, but I know he loves me although sometimes he don't when I realised that I didn't get any offer to study but than I realise, I don't deserve it much compared to the good ones out there...I wish them luck although there is some disappointment...
                                                     
Back to the show, does this means, it will be a better offer or <3UCSI<3 to be my choice?
Shall the result to be swift to let go my tense feeling...

                                                

KRIS ALLEN- LIVE LIKE WE ARE DYING!!!

Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There'll no one on the line, yeah

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..
http://www.elyricsworld.com/live_like_we're_dying_lyrics_kris_allen.html

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying..

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying..


I gotta say...HE IS VERY GOOD!!!

Fever.Flu.Throat

It has been almost 4 days, I don't keep a count but I think it is..I couldn't breathe because the one side of the opening is blocked which thick mucus and the other is with running mucus..Oh gosh...why does it have to be so disgusting....I was just trying to be specific about what is happening to my body. Followed by sore throat, when I cough, I wish I never did...it is so painful. (sob, sob)....The fever runs high when I don't take my medication and seriously I hate medicine, it is just that, I am to lazy to take them....Ho Hseinting....thank you for reminding me about the deadline of Form 6 registration...sorry to say...I couldn't come because I am in a terrible mess and I don't want to spread it to innocent people...

Yen Ning and Patricia...thank you for being so caring towards me..I will drink a lot of water and I hope within this month I will recover from this nasty fever....it is spoiling my social life~!!!!!

Part of me, is saying A-levels will be great and another is saying is it the right choice??

I did hear from some who says it is tough and you won't get government scholarship but I don't really care because I lose hope on the government...THEY SUCK!!!!

By the way...about my sickness....I hope it will be cured....I don't want to be quarantined for H1N1 or DENGUE....I don't want to die yet!!

I hope it is a normal cold and it can be treated with some medication and  bed rest!!!

cheers for now...take a seriously good care for your health

IT IS YOUR WEALTH!!!

Mother's day...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM....I love you so much and I know I can be so annoying sometimes but I never intended to to hurt your feelings.

Mom,
i wish i could say many things here,
you have been a great mom,
it is true,mom.
I love you

you never had anything for yourself
everything you did is for me
if i had to repay you
I will rather give away my life

you made huge change in my life,
I didn't know how you made it,
i know it was tough
let go you fear mom...

I will help you go though this,
let me help you,
i want to do it,
because I love you

I want to promise you,
I will never want to see your tears,
your is more valuable than mine..

You had enough,
let go the angst,
Let me handle it for you.

I am a girl,
I want to be your warrior,
A warrior,
never fear death,
so am i MOM.

Love me mom,
I will care for it,
gentle touch of yours,
does miracle to me.

One day,
I would want to leave you,
let me be the first before you,
I will be happy,
TRUST ME MOM.

I love you dearly mom.....I wish you HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

should or shoudn't i???

T A H N I A H !

Anda Ditawarkan Untuk Mengikuti Pengajian Ke Tingkatan 6 Bawah

Berikut Adalah Maklumat Tawaran

No. Kad Pengenalan	::	921017016348
Angka Giliran	::	JB025A031
Nama	::	VIGNESWARY A/P ANANTHAM
Sekolah Asal	::	JEB1007 - SMK SULTANAH ENGKU TUN AMINAH
Jurusan	::	SAINS
Sekolah Ditawarkan	::	JEB1001 MAKTAB SULTAN ABU BAKAR
Tarikh Mendaftar	::	10 Mei 2010  WHAT MUST I DO? Should i go for it?

give out watever it takes...

YEAH....you heard me!


I am gonna give my best shot for this one. It is okay if I don't do well at first, but it is worth the try. Everyone says it is risky, maybe I agreed the other time. It was probabaly because I was mentally challenged. I think I am ready for this. SPM here I come...

My mom is okay with it and I am glad. She supports me....1oo% for sure. SHE LOVES ME!
I am going to make you proud mom. It is when I realised why there is few doctors and dentists or pharmacist in this country....I am gonna give it a TRY!

I may not be the smartest but I don't want to be. I just want to be hardworking. At least, at the end of the day, I know I tried my best...

                                                  

24/7....I didn't know that

NST Online bTrends:/b To harvest squash, click here


Yeah rite....I am a fan....I do go play but not till waking up 1.30 in the morning...welll, it is so true compared to real farming...You will get to plow the right size and all the hassle about watering, seeding, fertilising, it is much more easier to be in the virtual world.....It is the most played game followed by Mafia Wars and Cafe World. You gotta be kidding me. Well, that is what we call by being hooked to a game!

HETIC...

TO ALL THE READERS OUT THERE.....



I am please to inform that SCHOOL is gonna reopen on MONDAY. 5th JANUARY 2009!!!! I
wish everyone out there all the best and keep rokin on cuz life is too short cuz high school and U surely will be surprised how much time u have wasted worrying about how well you gonna be among the others in your school!!! I am kindly telling all the students out there to enjoy ur life as much as possible becuz it can never be the same like college life or UNI life!!!

Things u do or say might sound normal when ur in high school but if will be a different story out there!!! There, you will see a bunch of communities to stereotype YOU even if u try to be ur best in whatever things u do!!! However think about the positive side.....and you will meet new FRIENDS from all walks of life and you will be surprised by how small ur knowledge about the outside world and you will start to think more sensibly...

However, one thing that will never change where ever u go!!!.....WHAT IS THAT???
It is nothing big.....HOMEWORK.....of course, hahaha...well u can clearly see that in high school u call it the " H WORD" but in campus it is known as assignments and project work which sound more complicating!!! Y is tat so? Well, in campus assignments are given more importance than in high school....every assignments counts!!! As for homework.....it is merely a practice of a certain subjects given by the teacher so that one can be good at it!
So did everyone gey the idea of being in school? Well, this seems to be very short for me cuz there is so many things going around in high school because high school is all about YOU!!! I really can go branching out life this about school life such as Love life, Financial problems, Stress management, EXAMS, school parties, competitions, Sports Day, and there is just so many thing going around in school...so instead of worrying for the unnecessary things...TRY TO MAKE EVERY SINGLE MINUTE PRECIOUS!!!......YOU WORTH IT !!!( Loreal Paris)

So cherios Boys and Gurls........choice is in your hands.....
LEAD YOUR LIFE LIKE NOBODY!!!


sounds familiar....yes...just to refresh those memories of fear and jitters I had be4 my Form 5......wow.....It is over now and I am relieved...

long lost....yet founded at last

Thank you to technology for bring two hearts closer.Mr.Mark Zuckerberg. Thanks a lot for helping those to stay connected through FAcebook. After all these years from elementary school. Thinking of all the sweet and bitter memories we went together, it made me really how time flies so fast. We were so small and now, look at you...all GROWN UP!!!...


Anneth Alexander...the name I will never forget to the rest of my life.She was like my best friend and she still is. I don't believe in these craps about having only one as ur bff....that was way long ago...it was a ONCE UPON A TIME...now, everything changes...people around us can't be trusted and she,i don't know yet but I still believe she remembers me and all the nostalgic moments we had together...


Aneth wherever in the corner of Philippines... I hope you are happy and I want you to know,there are few good people here to care about u very next to ur heart...

nervousness creeps

I am really scared right now....I have no idea what to do anymore. I really need somebody to talk with me. my instinct tell me that I will will be sitting for Form 6 but I don' know whether I will be able to go t my dream college: UCSI UNIVERSITY...I would love to hear from someone. I really need the answer soon. If only I never faint the other day, I would have been filling up the form and maybe I will not get the jilters right now. OH MY GOD...please say something ...show me some hint of whatso ever it is.....I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO FORM 6....i don't want to go....I will not be able to concentrate and  I bet I will not study like I use to to.....say something please...I am so helpless now. Staying in my grandparents house is like hell and what is worst...everyday is the same and I need answers so badly and I want to know it urgently....


I hope I will be able to get out of this house, please someone help me to get out of the place. It is  ugly, hot and BORING!!!

I need some place where real people would stay.I am just tired of these place. Eighteen years in this den and I need to go out. I want to venture the world out there and it is not a real big deal to ask, it is not like I am asking for a jackpot. I see  my friends are having a great time , I am missing all the stuff and it is not fair at all....I don't get it, whatever things I wished for is not at my reach and every time I wish for some of my dreams to come true.....something comes up and that's it....it is crushed into millions of pieces....I can't take this anymore and I will not able to do anything...That is the more dissapointing than anything else

Sometimes things happening around you can never get any worst. Yes, this is so true. My driving instructor is a real JERK!!....I have beg him like million times to finish my lesson as soon as possible...alas! He purposely drag till jun....I HATE THAT LOSER!!!

He didn't only make my blood to boil but he has irritated me to the maximum and what-so ever it is....I really wish I can slaughter him and rip his flesh like a cannibal....

And I don't want this post to be commented.....

The Oatmeal

Created by Oatmeal

Death of an Innocent

I used to be very hardworking, i like to write down everything that captures my heart like a poem, story or any information that is bizzard or fun to read and till today, I still do that but not very frequenty cuz I realize many starts to call me 'hardworking'. Well, that is not that bad though but quite embarrased at times....This is somthing I wrote down few years back...I am glad I found this piece:



I went to a party mom,
I remembered what you said
You told me not to drink, mom
So I drank soda instead
I really felt proud inside, mom
The way you said I would
I didn't drink and drive, mom
I know I did the right thing, mom
I know you are always right.
Now the party is ending, mom
As everyone is driving out id sight
As I got into my car, mom
I knew I'd get home in one piece
because of the way you raised me,
so responsible and sweet
I started to drive away, mom
but as I pulled out into the road,
the other car didn't see me, mom
and hit me like a load
As I lay there on the pavement,mom
 I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," mom
and now I'm te one who will pay
I'm lying here dying, mom
I wish you'd get here soon
how could this happen to me, mom
there is blood all around me, mom
and most of it is mine
I'll die in a short time
I just wanted to tell you,mom
I swear I did't drink
It was the others,mom
The others didn't think
He was at the same party as I
the only diffrene is, he drank
and I will die
 Why do people drink, mom?
I t can win your whole life
I'm feeling sharp pain now, pains just like knife
the guy who hits me is walking, mom
and I don't think it is fair
I am lying here dying
and all he can do is stare
tell my brother not to cry, mom
tell daddy o be brave
and when I go to heaven,mom
put 'Daddy's Girl" on my grave
Someone should have told him,mom
not to drink and drive
If ony they had told him, mom
I would still be alive
my breath is getting shorter,mom
I'm becoming scared
please don't cry for me,mom
when I needed yoy, you were always there
I have one last question,mom
Before I say goodbye
I didn't drink and drive
So why am I the one to die?

Is it this what I have been looking for???

                      Yes, I received a phone call from my aunt in Putrajaya about my further study in A level in UCSI University. I speak to her for a while and she told me the fees and accommodation  to spend my another 1 year in a place called Kuala Lumpur. To be honest, I don't like to leave my home sweet home. It is the most priceless thing I knew ever since i knew how to talk. It is very sad and  I am afraid those people in there will not be the one that I knew over here. They are busy, it is a metropolitan state with a lot of hustle and bustle which is so crazy and insane. Sorry, it is no offense for those who are working in  Johor. We are busy too, i never deny that and we are busier than ever. It was a strong felling of depression I had a while when I looked around my house, I knew everything in my house and if u asked me to walk with my eyes closed, YES i would be able to do that!! 

I dare u!

She asked me if I was able to come for the Open day to expand my rusty brain which getting rustier by every passing days...I said yes and she told me, she we  make arrangement for my transport and she will call me later. That is it. I was happy but sad. Happy because i knew what I will be doing and I will not have to be clueless anymore. Sad because I am going to leave my family behind. I love my grandparents, mother and my aunt even when they could be annoying at times but then I realized if I left them there will be no one to accompany my grandparents when my mom and aunt goes to work. It will be lonely and the house will be stranded in silence of to human being who loves watching tamil serial....crazy and hate it till today!

It would be a dear to leave the 32inch Sony LCD which was I of my good friends. It will be over once we brake apart cause I will not be able to watch my favorite Disney, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Hitz.tv and blah2

I guess life have to mo on and we still have to break free of our freedom zone once and for all...I guess it is the time for me to say goodbye to the things I have cherished for a very long time!

That's all for now...signing of from your......COMPLICATED

YU-NA KIM

It is just so awesome to  see her doing the spin 3 times flawlessly with ease. i admire that. She was so flexible and she begun to to be passionate in the figure skating after watching the Olympic back when she was small. She memorised them and practising the moves again and again without giving up. Thanks to her mom for letting her to achieve and make her dreams come true. It is a pleasure within you to see the most beautiful and talented daughter of your not only mesmerising  the world with stunning figure skating moves but she is a Hero within the hearst of the Seoul people. She is treated with royalty and all the young girls are dreaming to become like her..   

It was then when she had a fracture at her back bone before the most important event of her lifetime, she had to compete with 10 other talented and famous figure skaters in the world but  the pain was never gonna stop her from making her county Korea proud. It was like never before seen Yuna Kim to stip and toss aroung the ring like a majestic queen and often for some reason she was a stunning materpiece of Korea.

Her coach told the media that he had never seen anything like her before and he will never see again. I t was a very big remark to give because we are always persuaded that nobody is perfect. Is she a icon of perfectionist?

 However it is she was in the ring like a SWAN and it was very captivating and she was still young to win the wold championship of figure skating. I won the first prize by exceeding 200 points never before done by anyone. Thanks to all her hard work and preserverance!!!

I am not able to handle...

Now all ends up whether I am going for A- levels or STPM. It is really though beccause I have been thinking all tese while that college would be fun as you are able to dress up and hav a fun time together with your friends, eat in fast food court and chill our with your friends but then I realise my weakness...I am really not good at socializing and I am very sure I will not be able to make it. Lectures, Students affair and curriculum activities which is far more cooler than my high school.

I am not be able to cope with new environment but something surprises me till now. I able to make loads of friends after my primary school but why not now? Things change...I change and I was still acting like a kid not knowing the world is so big and we are merely just actor on the stage... we don't last long in the play, somehow in the end we will be left forgotten and to be rotten in the soil at the end of the day.

Will be able to leave my high school even though it reminds me of homework and will I be able to leave my grandparents here who constantly nags at me? Will I be able to cope when all my close friend drift apart from me? I am weak mentaly and physically...All those moments of happy times together...will be able to see each other again? Shall we still be in a group and talk whatever that cross our mind and never bother whether it makes sense or not?


Will u still REMEMBER ME?


Will I ever SEE U AGAIN?


Will u IGNORE ME?


When can I SEE you AGAIN?



when am i capable of standing TALL one day?

it is what i had in mind...

I knew it long time ago, I will not get but I insisted to check although I knew it is tough and hardly for someone like me to get...

But finally , it came out just the way I thought it would be. I knew it.


Its over....I lose

sweats here and there

As I am writing this blog, I could feel the heat. It not the heat of passion but the heat from our very own the one and only star that is humongous from the rest in the solar system: THE SUN!!!

"Since the sun has a surface temperature 20 times greater than that of Earth, the reradiated energy has a spectrum that peaks at a wavelength 20 times longer than the 500 nm for the sun, or at about 10,000 nm, well into the infrared. Since the atmosphere is more absorptive to such long-wavelength terrestrial radiation, the atmosphere is heated from the ground up instead of vice versa".

I guess nobody would be surprised by the fact THE SUN is seriously makes me 'twinkle'!

As for mean time now, I am still cluless about what is happening around me. I have made my homeworks with the scholarship appliction  and I am waiting...and waiting and WAITING!

I am  currently looking for and A-level programs which is chear comparatively to other colleges in Malaysia. Could someone help me with the facts? 

It is very confusing and I am really hoping for partial scholarship or maybe loans from PTPTN or even better I got a schoilarship from and of the forms I have applied.

I have been checking my inbox for some replies from Sime Darby/ YAYASAN wahtever it is.....But all I got is updates from FACEBOOK which I don't really need it for now especially during this time!

I have no hope for IPTA anymore even worst I don' t think I will able to get a admission in any of IPTA in Malaysia.....

I decided to place my choices for Asasi dalam Pergigian/farmasi/ sains hayat and to my surprise I got to know from a close friend of mine that I would be able to know which university they will be placing me...at first, I disagree for I thought they will not let us to know about which uni we will be placed but she insist me to read the procedure guideline booklet my counseling teacher gave and I was dumfounded.....

IT WASN'T LIKE I THOUGHT:

If I get the admission, I will be placed in UNIVERSITY ISLAM ANTARABANGSA MALAYSIA!!!

I was horrified at first because being a non-bumi means I will be akward and weird to enroll myself in that college. In addition for that I will be facing anew lots of  "culture shook"!!

I had to say this even if Iam quite friendly with my malay friends...I hav loads of good malay friends and we do have fun together bt in this case, I am very curious and doubtful...

help me.....

UNDERGRADUATES....

It has been more than a week after the SPM result were out. Officially, I gotta say no matter wat, I received 7A and 2B.......damn it was horrible compared to my friends who got 8 or more than that.
 It is nothing much now, but gotta prepare myself to apply all kinds of scholarship in and out wherever you are....My lucky gifted scholarship to come. Just gotta hang in there cuz I just believe in  this:

this memorable day I will be having at one time of my life....I am just wating and waiting for some miracle to show up and for one to be cherished and loved again.....


I just wanna believe in something right now. I will always be the same for:

                                             I hope DREAMS WILL COME TRUE...

IS COMING...

2009 SPM, STAM results out on March 11

2010/03/04

KUALA LUMPUR: The results of the 2009 Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia (SPM) and Sijil Tinggi Agama Malaysia (STAM) examinations will be announced on Thursday (March 11), according to a statement from the director-general of education. The results will be released at schools from 10am on that day, the statement said, adding that private candidates will get their results in the mail.

A total of 165,853 sat for the SPM written examination at 3,569 centres in the country between Nov 18 and Dec 16 last year while 6,920 candidates took the STAM examination at 98 centres between Oct 19 and 27, the statement said. - Bernama

 http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/articles/20100304193609/Article/index_html

zzzzz....

yummmy....it has been few days since I blog, now I am reminding myself that you use to ignore to blog while you were studying but hey now I am keeping myself to blog everyday because it helps to improve my writing skills."wink"...so back to my old story, I am actually getting a little nervous about myself because I think I am geting plump!
Yes, its true, I feel that my jeans are getting tight and I seriously need to exercise...it is time to call the pro's!
haha...maybe, I should be more active and need to reduce the time I sleep and to stop eating all kinda junk food!!
haha....again?
It is getting near....yes, yes.....SPM is coming near and I getting the jitters of how my result gonna look like, I just hope it will be pleasant and I rallyt want to get all A's!
"Help me!"

Alrite....gotta go now....
maybe from now onwards I should keep my blogs shorter...it is very convenient for people to read.....hahaaaa!

GERAM!!!

I purposely name the title in malay...y??
It is just the matter of fact that I felt it will give more impact on how I feel right now....
It all started with driving lesson when I accidently let go the car to movce backwards....it shows how STUPID i was!!! It was alrite if there is no1 around me but there was a boy and he did sumtin that PISS ME OFF!! "HE LAUGH AT HE!!!!"
Fine then, when I come back home, my aunt came screaming at me, Help me with the book renewal thing! I don't give a DAMN abt it cuz I dun care....so I lent her hand, but inside I was like 
....so I don't care!!!!

I gotta say that I got some temper and I LOVE BEING LIKE THAT!

tired but still hanging...

Yes it is true what they say, when you are at home you will be very lazy and tired but I hope I will not be very lazy since the only thing that keeps me still going on will be my driving lesson....speaking about driving lesson,

Few days ago, I was so eager to for the lesson and as usual, I text message the uncle to know when will be the lesson, but to my  surprise he did not reply so at first I thought he was mad at me for asking me when is the lesson all the time. My fear grew and the I felt very jittery about myself to text him as for I know he will call me to let me know when is the next lesson so I tried all sorts of things to calm myself by telling he will not be mad at me.

 Afterfew days, I got to know that one of my closest friend is taking the same class with another uncle in the same centre, after getting to know more about it I called her and we had a short phone conversation and she gave me the courage to call him and tried to talk to him...I really appreciate it

So it was a public holiday yesterday so I did not call him but  this morning, I call him with high expectation through my house phone, to my dismay he did not pick up the phone, I started to get very nervous as my call was heading to voice mail.

Then after 30 minutes, I called him through my mobile phone and he picked up...

ME: "Hello"

UNCLE: " Heloooooo,"

ME : " Can i know when is the next lesson?"

UNCLE: " Later, I will call you"

ME: "Okie"

That was it, yup that was it....short but it was not as intimidating as i taught, I was happy though because he was not mad at me.

JUST WAIT............PATIENTLY which is not me!!!

happy ending...

It has been days bygone and still waiting and hoping for something magical to come just to cheer up the days of boredom and blase..

It is not about the happy endings....its the begining of the new life journey that is gonna be the teacher all the way till we reach the top.

Let just not brag about it, it is nothing big but its important and it is a compulsory that I have to attend to the most important event of my life which will decide whether I am capable of surviving all the harsh and pain that I have gone through for the year. It is the SPM RESULTS which will decide where I will belong and am I capable of deciding the right moves for my future that still awaits to be explored!

It is not sure when is the date but it is important for me to know when because it is something meaningful for me.It won't be painful but it will not be blissful to know the truth of what it is like but I wish I had tried more harder because it was an opportunity of a lifetime...

I just wish I will get all A'S as for it is my only dream to make it realise. I am thanking the teachers who has marked the paper, thank you for being tolerant and thanks to my mom who keeps encouraging me to keep moving on even though I felt  my life is coming apart. Thankz mom, thanks for everything you have done to me till no. If the is any gratitude for me to show you, it is not enough because you are simly worth more than that...


Thanks to my friends who have shown me so pleasure when I felt lie giving up...You words means alot to me to continue moving on...

If is was not for my teachers who have not shown love to us even when you know we are not perfect, thanks for everything you have shown and cared for us...miss you very much. I will never forget you no matter what happens.

Lastly if it is not for the very special person, I might not be born ino this worl. If it isnot for this special person, I would not have realise my dreams and I may not found out the pleasure of life ignoring the problems we have faced...thank god for helping me to get throug the hurdles that I have been through...

IF I SAY:

When everything around you seems to feel apart and you don't have hope still standing, it was when you heart feel weak and you wish you can surrender...

There is still hope for you to see the world tomoorrow to smile and realise you still have chance to make you dreams come true.

You were to be dead tomorrow and there is no one with to catch you when you fall.It is when you realise you are cheated by those who were nice.

You are merely somebody who was a gimmick in my play and that's when you are crushed to part and without any clue you just disappear from the crowd.

You were to be alone and there is no one whith you, you just look at me and say

"I will survive from the odd" but inside you might think "Is that possible?"

I will like your courage...

IF I SAY

it is your final chance to realise the dreams you have been hoping to achieve even though you know the world out there is harsh and will not give in for you but I know you can do it no matter what comes in between us!

All the right moves..

All the right friends and the all the wrongs places, so yeah we are going down!!!~~~
All the right moves and the all the right faces, so yeah we are going down!!!~~~

These lines kinda remind me of my high school times where i was confused about myself.
I was thinking all about what people will think about me and I never appreciated what I had for myself and I was seeking to be the perfectionist in myself that know  when I look back I feel that i was almost a perfectionist who still wonders and was still confused!

do you think I'm special?
do u think I'm nice?
am I bright enough to shine your spaces?


It was confusing to me to as I was growing with the other when I thought I need someone at that time who will make me feel so special but as time passes by, I felt defeated and cheated because I was lonely!

sad.....

Is this all I got to say in my blog??


YES...INDEED.....it is yours remember??

It is indeed a sad beginning for me as I could not even finish my driving practises properly not to mentin I was not able to pull the hand break....it was just sooooo  insulting and embarrassing. I tried to talk to my sis and she went
              " Haha, you never gonna get the license in a month and u r so lame and guess wat you never gonna be a better driver than me."

It was so painful but I kept my mouth shut, after all she is gonna fly to UK soon and I will not be seeing her for a along time and maybe never at all, who knows she might settle down in UK itself...

However, it was so nasty of her to say such cruel things about me, I was very angry...yeah I know, future lawyer, blah, blah, blah........does that mean that she have to so rude to me eventhough I am just her sister??

Well, look at her and look at me.........comparing both of us, she is far much more older than me and did I say "wise"???? Maybe...hahahaa


For know, I am jobless ang I kinda miss my old job as a cashier minus the hardwork but if you ask me to go, definitely I will not go because it is so tiring and I AM SICK OF IT!!! But for now I am juz finding plkeasure in my driving eventhough it is not as regular as I thought!!!

JUST KEEP MY FINGERS CROSSED...